Comments on: i have been dating this man for 3 months and from the start i have known he was getting a divorce, he is tryin

By: benjis.girl

benjis.girl — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 09:02:25 +0000

You’ll just have to become extremely understanding and patient. When he wants you around, be there for him. When he needs time or space, give him that without gripping or being needy. He’ll see that you care for him and that you aren’t like her. It’s hard though. You just have to keep saying it’ll be worth it in the end. Cuz if you do those things, I don’t think he’ll choose his lying cheating soon-to-be exwife over you. He’ll see how much better he can have it, and he’ll want you. It’s just hard sometimes, especially when he wants that space cuz you’ll feel really rejected. But you just have to remind yourself that it isn’t about you; it’s about all this crap he’s going through.

By: Simply Me

Simply Me — Sat, 30 Aug 2008 06:22:39 +0000

Show him that you are understanding, show him that you care, and that he wont regret being with you… how do you do this..
Be his friend. be his BEST friend and wait until he gets his life together, so call him see how he is doing, keep in touch but let him be the one to invite you out. Basically give him space and time TRUST ME he will appreciate your efforts and consideration. All the man wants is to do things right! so dont make it hard for him.
Sit down over a nice dinner or maybe a walk somewhere relaxing and tell him you respect him and want the best for him, and that you are willing to hold for him until he feels mentally reade to face a new BETTER relationship… if you do this the man will be kissing your toes and you will finally show him you are the one! But you MUST do this and not just say it.

By: mamayer6

mamayer6 — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 18:33:40 +0000

First of all no sex. You have to be there for him as a friend. He is not ready for a romantic type relationship with what he has been through and what he is going through.
I saw this happen just this last year. Aman and his wife having battles and waiting until the baby was born etc etc. Baby is born they get divorce and then they fight for custody rights of the child. He remarried and it lasted 6 months because he had not healed yet from the divorce

By: Chris C

Chris C — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 23:51:38 +0000

GET OUT NOW.
RUN!!! RUN!!! RUN!!!

Otherwise you will be dragged deeper into the drama involving him, the kid and the Ex… FOREVER.

Go meet another guy.
You don’t need this headache.

By: Amanda

Amanda — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 05:45:15 +0000

Like everyone else has said, time and space are good. Divorce is a hard thing to go through, no matter how bad the relationship was – and it’s always worse if children are involved. Let him know that you won’t pressure him and will be there for him. The only real way you can show him that you’re not like her is by proving it over time, though, and being there when he needs you.

You might consider suggesting some counseling as well – for him alone, and/or for both of you together. That would allow him to work through his issues, and then work on your relationship. It might also give you some ways to cope with the situation, since he’s not the only one going through this!

By: Lynn

Lynn — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 10:37:00 +0000

you don’t want to be the rebound girl. stay his friend with no expectations. he needs time to grieve over all this drama in his life.

By: lex

lex — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 03:19:41 +0000

as his head is in the clouds at present it may be best to call it ‘friends who support’ for now,,,time will tell and how you handle this situation will show him what you are made of too. be honest with yourself,,you want him but you want the whole him and not a shell,,this space without distraction will help him put himself back together again.be supportive,,go out by all means,enjoy each others company and if you can honestly and with feeling ask,,’how are you’ and really mean it and want to know he will feel your support but not feel suffocated,,if he can sort his life himself he will grow faster and be healthier for it and you get someone who know who and what you are and he will know you were a friend when he needed one badly.

By: maynerdswife

maynerdswife — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 05:44:32 +0000

The problem is that you’re smack dab in the middle of something that doesn’t and shouldn’t involve you. This man needs a soft place to fall because he’s distrought. Divorce is HELL. It’s best to let him get through his divorce and not make any demands or have any expectations. It takes a long time to get through a divorce, and the emotional state he’s in now is NOT who he really is. Move on and let him know to call you when he’s emotionally free and open. Meanwhile, live your life. Hopefully he’ll come around before someone else snags you up! Good luck!

By: Seti

Seti — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 11:38:26 +0000

He’s bad news girl… I would run if I were you. You’re so wasting your time with this one. He needs you as his crutch, but this is not a good foundation on which to build a solid relationship. I’m sure he means well, and he probably believes that he loves you, but it is because you were the one who happened to be there when he was desperately searching for someone to lean on. It is very unllikely he loves you for *you*, for who you are; he would have “loved” anyone else who happened to fill this role at his time of need.

I would bid my goodbyes if I were you.

By: youngprincez23

youngprincez23 — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 04:00:12 +0000

You need to back away from this situation ,a man fresh off a divorce needs time to heal and think about what he needs.You will be nothing more than a rebound and rebounds dont stay around to long as far as that goes,a shame on you for letting yourself get invovled to this extent now your little heart it going ot break ,good luck.